My Early X-Mas Present

So most of you would like an early Christmas present, right? Hmmm. We'll just see about that after you've heard this story.

So my ironing board broke down about a month ago. It was getting all rusty and wouldn't open or close properly so I slammed it around until it would open. I think that was my first problem. Well, the bottom legs came flying off one particular day, leaving the top of the board.

Not to be daunted (after all, I am a girl with resources) I layed towels down on top of the very nice expensive dining room table, put the board on top, and proceeded to iron all those pants and shirts Ben loads me down with EVERY week.

Well, you can imagine the look that crossed my husband's face as he came into the house, using the table as a psuedo ironing board. The roll of the eyes and shake of the head did not phase me, as I am by now used to such looks after seven years of marriage. He kindly suggested I not do that since I would scratch the beloved table.

The look I gave him was something along the lines of go to hell, but I finished up and over the course of the next month, I calmly layed all of his pants and shirts over the banister to be "ironed" later.

Well, he never said a work about his clothes. Until last night.

He gently asked if I wouldn't mind ironing his clothes, knowing such a request would send me into a rage as I had no way of doing this without again using the broken down ironing board.

So as I gave him the silent treatment, glared daggers at his back and brought up old rusty from the basement, he said: Wait! Can you do something for me? This while I am struggling to get it upstairs and set up...so I snapped "WHAT?"

Husband: "Can you go into the other room for me?" There is something behind the door you need to get."

Wife: "Thinking grouchily to herself---WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU NEED? Can't you see I'm all pissy and mad because I have to iron your F'ing clothes when I was giving you the hint I wasn't going to do it by laying them out there for you to see???????"

Wife's Real Response: "Sure." What do you need?"

Husband: "Just go check it out."

Wife: Steaming mad. Literally.

And there it is. Right behind the door is a brand spanking new ironing board with a slight upgrade to the last version. And Ben is extremely proud of himself, because in his brain, he thinks it's a great "early" christmas present.

So I weakly smile, mumble my thanks and head upstairs to iron the months worth of clothes.

And then....and THEN....

I couldn't get it open. OH. HELL. NO.

Old Rusty has come back to me. **sigh**