Birthday's

I love love love birthday's. Especially my children's. I love to shop, I love to ask what they want and I especially love to give them parties. I usually go all out and we invite lots of little girls over to the house or something, decorate and bake a cake. I have done this every year for Alex since she was born...mainly because she expects it and loves it too. However, this year due to trying to economize and the fact I am tired of having 10 screaming girls in the house, we decided to scale back a bit.

Even though I love it, ther is a lot of work to coordinate, invite, plan, and buy all of the "stuff" every year. And this year since money is tight, I told Alex she can have one friend over for a sleepover and we can go to the water park for a few hours.

I was pleasantly surprised when she replied with a simple "o.k." I thought for sure she was going to whine and cry about it but she was actually pretty cool about it...amazingly.

Because this is my diva, my drama queen, my little socialite. She loves a good party and loves to dress up and be the center of attention. But oh boy am I glad for this year and her wanting a simple little sleepover with a friend and a trip to the waterpark.

The girls went to a b-day party today for a 5 year old little girl and same as the Party from Hell that we had two years ago, it was no different. TEN screaming, crying, over emotional little girls who had the run of the house and were tearing around was the report Ben gave me when he got back with them. The mother was beside herself and almost had a breakdown because it was too much to handle. I just rolled my eyes and thought to myself - been there, done that, NEVER AGAIN!

I'm so glad we will have a nice little one friend party:)

Happy Halloween!

So much fun spending the day with my girls and getting ready for Halloween:) I was the momma cat with her "kittens" for the night and we had a ton of fun racing from house to house and afterward eating our booty.
My dearest darlings, momma loves...momma loves.

The Freezing Zone

Our office has been like 20 below lately. I know, right? What are they trying to do get us to actually work and not fall asleep at our desks around 3 P.M. and after a nice heavy lunch?

O.k., so I exaggerate just a Titch. (tehehe, titch. Ya that's right, it's my new fav word. It rhymes with so much...pitch, bitch, snitch...tehehe).

Our safety committee has decided to take away all personal space heaters, to be replaced with one they have approved. Well what the F? I paid good money for that heater (electrical, not the smokes) and it has been in my office cube for damn near 4 years. And when the building goes to freezing they decide to take it away? So I can go spend my severely reduced (hard economic times and all) hard earned money on something THEY approve? Bullshit I say.

And just to be ornery I am not going to go and buy another new one, instead I'll garb myself in layers, wear scarves, and use my jacket as a blanket. And then I'm going to complain. BITTERLY.

Jeesh, think I'm PMS'ing right now because believe me, I've been in a foul ass mood for the last few weeks!

But, alas here is proof of my foul, bitchy mood that my lovely co-worker decided to sneak a shot of. Thanks Mr. Welker. Testament to the permafrown that's been on my face all week. Nice ha?

Death Becomes Us

You know how they always say death comes in threes? Well, more sad news in the Arndt family....Ben's Aunt Martha is dying from stomach cancer. It came so quick and sudden it's scary. Granted she is 71 years old, no one should have to end their lives in pain and misery, barely breathing with morphine keeping the pain at bay.

We got the call on Wednesday and were told she had a week to live. Yesterday morning, we got the dreaded call that she would be gone from us soon so we packed up the car and left for the hospital, which was a three hour trip there.

When we got there, I went into her room first and it was like someone had punched me in the stomach. Her son was at her bedside a complete wreck and her husband was also in misery. Martha herself came to and spoke to me, asking how the girls were doing and thanked me for coming to see her. I was so choked up I could barely get past my own tears to assure her they were doing great and would have liked to come and see her. Just that little conversation wore her out and she promptly fell back to her eractic breathing and sleeping.

We sat there helplessly at a loss for words and wanting to cry. It's so sad to see someone dying and you can't help but think of your own immortality. I am now plagued with images of myself dying or on my deathbed and family gathered around to say their goodbyes. And then I start imagining all the what ifs - what if I go before my husband, what will he do? What is one of my girls die, either accidental or through sickness, what would I do? Am I strong enough to go on? Can I handle the pain and grief? Can my children handle the pain and grief of losing a parent or a sibling?

All these questions have kept me up of late...through Samuel's death and now through Martha's impending death.

*sigh* 

I can only be supportive and not worry about all the what if's, which is hard. Otherwise, I'd be afraid to live life. Just something to think about.

TWINS TWINS TWINS!!!

We had a fun filled family vacation in Kansas City this past weekend and oh boy was it a blast! It was a quick trip and 7 hour ride but fun was had by all.

Here is us posing in front of Kauffman Stadium. This is gonna be the Christmas photo!


And here is Ben's monster plate of Biscuits and gravy. We went to 39th Mama's Diner, which was featured on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives on the Food Network. The food was so darn delicious and Ben was so full he was sweating at the end of his meal and feeling decidedly "unwell." Oh the fun we had!

Design Like Mad!

I'm so excited I can hardly stand myself! I just purchased the Adobe Creative Suite 4 for my sweet little MAC at home. Do you know what this means? Do ya? Ha? Ha?

I get to be creative at home and design ANYTHING I want now! No more schlepping my work laptop home to use the programs because I don't have my own....I can work at home when the kids or I am sick and not have to worry about meeting dealines...I don't have to run into the office when I need the computer.....I can dedicate more time to personal projects, updating my portfolio, editing all my own photo's, and feel like a real professional because I have it all at my own home office now!!!

It's craziness I tell you! And why oh why over the last NINE years of my professional career did I never bite the bullet and purchase the software? Well, there are several factors and I'll tell you all. I was never the type of student who could afford all the "extras" and own her own computer so I never bought the software at a student discount, therefore being able to upgrade for not a lot of money. I could never justify buying my own computer when I went to school that had the super delux "Super Lab" as it was referred to with access 24 hrs a day to any MAC I needed. Then when I graduated and got a "grown up" job, hubs and I were planning a wedding, living in the city where it was expensive, busy buying a house and then spawning children. There were just a lot of expenses to deal with and when you weigh your options of hmmm....diapers and food or software, it's a no brainer.

Plus, Ben had a PC (ew, I know) and when I worked late, I just stayed at the office. But as the years wear on and you have sick babies, sick you, more responsibilities and deadlines, it get's tough not having your own home office to work from.

I also got commissioned to do a lot of free lance work, invites, logo designs, family parties and my own fun projects. All of which I went into the office on my free time, or brought the "community" creative group laptop home.

Over the years it starts to wear you down, so I started to secretly (was it in my head?) beg for my very own shiny new computer. But hubs wasn't havin it, mainly because of the price($1200 bucks for just the standard!). So I started a secret campaign people...exclaim over Apple products, go into a MAC store to just gaze at the products, flip through magazines, talk about the benefits of having a MAC at home and finally, I was reduced to just pure begging.

And then last year for my ehhem...30th birthday (a milestone in my eyes) it....wait for it....happened!!!!!! My husband asked me what I wanted for a b-day present and when I promptly asked for a Coach purse...he said all right. You can get that...but wouldn't you rather have....your very own MAC?

Whatbutithoughtsaywhat??? As I spluttered in surprise....

And oh as I shouted with glee, I knew it. Just KNEW my secret personal campaign had begun to work on him. Because you see, he got one of the first iPods that came on the market. And when that died, he went and got the new and improved iPod, then an iShuffle, then he plays on iTunes and then he is ADDICTED. Addicted to Apple product I say. Well, it also didn't hurt that our PC (ew) was finally dieing and letting in all the porn sites in the world that were not safe for our kids so we did it.

We purchased a shiney new MAC. And people, do we love it. LOVE IT!

And tonight, after a long awaited year, I have finally purchased the beautiful loving software that was just meant for me and me alone. I am still up just playing with my lovely Illustrator and designing some fun new blog headers that will be up very shortly.

My new header will be called "Practical Magic" because baby I can do it all. I am a supermom, professional designer, wife, friend.....anything and everything I do is practically magic.

AMEN.

A Sad Day

The family had a memorial for little Samuel Daniel yesterday, it was gut wrenching and sad. My girls experienced their first funeral and even though there wasn't a body to view, they still understood the importance of the events happening.

I was overcome with grief and sadness for most of the night, it's hard to be happy or crack a smile when all you can think about is death and the unfairness of an infant being taken away. God has a grand plan for everyone, I understand that. But a baby? That is hard to fathom. And unwelcome.

It was a nice little memorial, with lots of questions from the girls. My 4 year old wanted to know why I was crying all the time and I was at a loss for an explanation. I just held my daughters a little tighter and thanked Him for all I have.